20 phrases that will make your child obey you. Yes , patience is needed , but this is better than a scandal! “Replace your judgmental , negative , threatening tone with a neutral , respectful , empathetic , encouraging ( this can take a LOT of time) and your baby’s behavior can improve dramatically. These 20 positive phrases are a great start if you want to change the tone of your communication with your child.
1. "What do you need to remember?"
Remove: "Be careful."
Example: "What do you need to keep in mind when you play in the park?" Or "Please , when you walk on this wall , move slowly , like a careful turtle."
Explanation: Children often ignore phrases that we repeat over and over again. The phrase "be careful" does not carry the right message , so it needs to be spoken more accurately. Voice precautions or convey information about what you want.
2. "Please speak calmly."
Example: "Please, speak softly or in a whisper" (say in a whisper) or: “I love your singing, but you need to go outside or in the game room, to do it loudly."
Explanation : Some children naturally scream louder than others. Show them where to do it so as not to disturb others , use the power of a whisper to do this. Combined with gentle touch and eye contact , whispering is an incredibly effective way to get kids to listen.
3. "Do you want to do it yourself or do you want help?"
Remove: “I repeat for the third time , get dressed!”
Example: "We're leaving. Will you put on your boots yourself or should I help you?" or “Will you get in the car yourself , or should I help you? »
Explanation: Most children want to be empowered. Give them a choice , and their critical thinking skills will overcome the temptation to balk.
4. “What did this mistake teach you?”
Remove: "Disgrace!"
or "Could have done better." Example: "What did you realize when you did it wrong?" Or “How can I do it differently next time so I don’t get into trouble?”
Explanation: Focusing on the motivation to change behavior for the future will bring you much better results than rebuking for a past act.
5. "Please, …».
Example: "Please, pet the dog gently" or "Please, put your shoes in the closet."
Explanation: Do any of us tell the waitress , barista , friends and family about what we DO NOT want? It's easier and faster to say what you want.
6. "Today we must go fast!"
Remove: "Hurry!"
or "We're late!" Example: “Today we are racing cars on the race track! Let's see how fast we can move! "
Explanation: Allow children to be slow! But if you hurry , then it needs to be made interesting for them.
7. “Do you want to leave now or in ten minutes?”
Remove: “Time to go… Already!”
Example: “Guys , do you want to leave now or play another ten minutes and then leave?
Explanation: Children love to be responsible for their own choices! It requires a little attention , but it works! Give them a choice and they will behave better than if you try to force them.
8. "Let's add this toy to our birthday gift list!"
Remove: "We can't afford this" or "No , I said NO TOYS!"
Example: "Let's buy this toy for your birthday?"
Explanation: to be honest , we can often buy this little Lego , we just don't want to buy it. Instead of talking about the lack of money and creating a feeling of scarcity , it is better to teach them to wait for toys or to earn money for them.
9. "Stop , exhale , now ask."
Remove: "Stop whining!"
Example: "Let's stop , breathe together , now try again to ask for what you want."
Explanation: Be sure to simulate this. Keep repeating this calmly until the child calms down and changes his tone.
10. "Respect yourself and others."
Remove: "Be good."
Example: "Don't forget to respect yourself and others , even if you're nervous."
Explanation: be specific because children often fail to grasp general statements. Ask what you want and have them repeat what is important to remember.
11. "Work as a team."
Remove: "Do not command!" and "No one will want to play with you if you do that."
Example: “You are a great leader. Don't forget to use your collaboration skills today. Ask your friends questions , don't tell them what to do."
Clarification: Many children who want to dominate ( or feel powerful) often say that they are bossy or that no one wants to listen to them.
Become your child's coach and teach him fair play. Ask instead of command , show instead of tell , and take turns things .